Survivors

You are not alone. If you need to talk, please call Headquarters Counseling Center, 785-841-2345 and ask for a GaDuGi SafeCenter Advocate. We are available 24 hours. You can remain anonymous — all calls are confidential! You need not be in "crisis" to call. We accept calls from survivors for any reason — any time of day. If you are not in Douglas County, Kansas call 1-800-656-HOPE to be connected to the closest rape survivor support center.

It was not your fault. Nothing you said or did "invited" the rape or sexual assault. The clothes you were wearing, drinking alcohol, taking drugs, being in a bar, or being out late at night ARE NOT "asking for it." Knowing the perpetrator, dating the perpetrator, kissing the perpetrator, not fighting or not screaming DO NOT MAKE THE PERPETRATOR INNOCENT AND YOU GUILTY. The perpetrator, whatever the circumstances, took advantage of you in the worst possible way.

Support From GaDuGi Advocates

GaDuGi Volunteer advocates are trained to assist survivors of rape and sexual assault in many ways. An advocate has an understanding of "the system" and how it works. GaDuGi volunteer advocates can accompany a survivor through the police interview, meetings with a prosecutor, and even to court. An advocate is a source of practical, useful information and support. 24 hour support line ......841-2345 (Headquarters Counseling Center).

You Have Survived

You will probably have many different feelings over the next few weeks and months. These feelings may come and go and may vary in intensity. Many survivors have found it helpful to know how others have reacted to sexual assault. The following are just a few of some of the reactions heard by our advocates:

Guilt

"I feel as if I did something to make this happen... If only I had been more careful...

Powerlessness

"Who can I trust? My life has fallen apart..."

Emotional Shock

"I feel so numb... Why am I so calm? Why can't I cry?"

Disorientation

"Everything seems so weird...The world is turned upside-down... I can't pay attention to what I'm doing..."

Disbelief

"What has happened to me? How could he have done this to me? Did this really happen?"

Retriggering

"I have terrible nightmares. I feel that same terror again! I keep flashing back to the scene..."

Embarassment

"People think that I'm a slut. .. I can't talk to the police about this. .. I don't want anyone to find out what happened..."

Denial

"It was just a rape. I wasn't hurt...Why am I such a mess? This shouldn't bother me..."

Fear

"I can't stand to be alone.. I hate the dark now. I am terrified... I feel ridiculously paranoid..."

Depression

"I don't feel like getting out of bed... I just don't want to see anyone... Sometimes I want to die...

Anxiety

"I can't eat. I can't sleep... My heart just starts pounding... I am restless. I can't sit still..."

Anger

"I hate that bastard... I could kill him... I could smash something to pieces... Why me? I hate this world..."

Despair

"I'll never feel normal again... This event has traumatized me forever... This pain is overwhelming..."